I've had the honor of doing a 40 days of prayer guide through my church. It never ceases to amaze me at God's timing! Every day I open this little booklet, its exactly what I needed to hear that specific day!
After being down in the Florida Keys for a few months, I've had some time to reflect on my life the last ten years. I have definitely made some choices that have affected my life in trememdous ways. One of those choices, is how I handle conflict. To be quite honest, I'm not really good at it. Actually, I can get pretty defensive when I am being attacked and one of my BIGGEST pet peeves is to be accused of something I have not done. Not to be prideful, but I do usually tell on myself before being busted (just ask my mom).
So, I've thought a lot about the conflict in my life and relationships lost because of that conflict. Its been hard lessons to learn but ones that I feel make me who I am today. It gives me great teaching material for my girls during homeschool. Not sure if that is what God was doing in some of those conflict situations but He has taught me to teach my girls about dealing with it.
I opened my 40 days of prayer last week, only to find the title "Living in Conflict" at the top of the page. "Of course," I said out loud to God. What better topic of discussion than the one thing I struggle with the most. Then, today I open it to "Resisting Opposition," and the first line reads "We pray 'Your will be done on earth as it is in Heaven...' but often we experience conflict that stems from people's opposition to God. It occurs in several arenas. Many Christians have found conflict in places that they considered to be the most secure: at church, home, even family or friendships..places they believe to be outside the battle zone. Not so!" I sat there for a minute soaking up that statement. It then occured to me that maybe I had viewed conflict wrong all along. I viewed it as an attack on me, personally, rather than an attack in the unseen world. "It is the unseen world where our real enemy lies. He will try to damage wherever he can." So, that's it! I was giving way too much credit to those around me that were attacking me and my family. We recently had a situation that I will not go into detail. But, we were attacked by people we claimed to be friends and brothers/sisters in Christ. We weren't sure where the attacks were coming from and we were quite frankly completely blindsided. We (Craig and I) became very defensive and to be quite honest, a spirit of bitterness welled up inside of me. I felt like when we left our home of 10+ years, things were left unsettled and a lot of questions unanswered. It brought me back to another time in my life, where I lost a very dear friend of mine to a series of arguments, arrogant attitudes and deadly defensiveness. The hurt began to grow again inside of me and the best thing I thought could happen was to escape my life in the one place I felt such opposition.
For whatever reason, God did choose to move us away from Texas and away from close friends and also those that were no longer friends. It grieved me to leave the home I had known for so long and the friends that I held so dear to my heart. It also saddened me of the things that were left undone and the reconciliation that had yet to take place. But, at times, I wonder if in God's perfect timing, He did remove us so that I could see and learn from what we had been through as a family.
While reading my devotion, I came to realize that as long as we harbor bitterness, unforgiveness and resentment in our hearts, we allow the enemy to come in and steal, kill and destroy. When we choose to allow the opposition of others to dictate our lives and then, in turn, become defensive and hateful - guess who wins? Yep, the enemy. We are falling into his perfect trap of deception and its a downward spiral from that point. Its scary to say the least!
You know, my brother, Michael is a great example of a duck. When he is attacked as an individual, he really lets things roll off his back. We recently had a great discussion about this very thing. We were part of a situation that involved the two of us. I made a couple of comments and then later had to apologize. His response, "I was over it a long time ago." And, rest assured, he was! I wish I could be more like my brother.
So, what have I learned this week:
The greatest arena of spiritual warfare occurs in our heads.
A stronghold is an attitude or mindset impregnated with despair that accepts as unchangeable anything that is contrary to the will of God.
Take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.
Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads (that's just a funny church sign I saw before I left Texas)
Am I a tool in the hands of the enemy? By accusing falsely, by spreading gossip, by bringing damage to others' lives?
My prayer is that God would change my mindset. I pray that I won't view conflict as a personal attack on me but rather its a battle that rages around me in the spiritual realm. When someone opposes me or persecutes me, how will I handle the conflict?
As I type this, the radio program is on "forgiveness." Hmmm, how fitting :-)
Blessings,
Becca
April 5, 2011
March 4, 2011
Where has the time gone.....
I never thought I would be one of those adoptive blogging parents that would slack off from keeping everyone updated once we returned home. But, here I am eating my words!
We arrived home on November 3 as a family of 6! Its still hard to believe all that took place from the day we first hosted Stephanie and Lizzie in December 2009. With no desire to adopt and no money, we never thought we'd walk down that road! Plus, all the comments about disturbing the birth order really had me freaked out. Even though I had two precious friends (Stephanee and Camille) that had gone before me, I just knew that older child adoption was NOT for me! But, here we come down the escalator in the Austin airport with four girls in tow and in that mix - a teenager!
I will be completely honest and will not sugar-coat anything. The first couple of months were VERY tough. Lots of tears, lots of confusion, lots of stress, lots of fighting, lots of doubts, but LOTS OF PRAYING! That is the only thing that got us through those months. My poor friends probably thought I had fallen off the deep end. There were days when I questioned what we had done bringing these girls to America. What had I done to my existing family? Had I ruined the lives of Molly and Madeline forever? What had we done to our marriage? But, I kept being encouraged by my sweet friends, Stephanee, Camille, Hollie, Colleen, Lynne, Cindy and many more that have gone before me with teenagers. I received great advice from Cindy one evening over dinner. She said "Don't assume the worse in her. Don't assume she is doing anything bad. Let her live a little. Trust God with her life." I chewed on those words for days. And, that is exactly what I have done - put my trust in OUR Heavenly Father - not trusting in my ability to parent a teenager.
We have continued to homeschool and that has been another challenge. Its like teaching three 1st graders to read. Right when I was at the end of my rope, my precious Molly (diagnosed with Auditory Processing Disorder and not able to read) picks up "Cat and the Hat" and starts reading - ON HER OWN! God knew I was at a breaking point and for whatever reason, He chose to extent His grace and mercy to me that day and perform a miracle! Molly loves to read and I catch her reading to her two older sisters quite often! School is going well and with the help of the owner of My Father's World and his wonderful advice, we are on the road to a great school year! The best is hearing my girls tell Bible Stories to one another and being able to answer questions from the Shorter Catechism! I stand in awe at the work the Lord is doing in their lives!
Well, the big news of the year so far is - WE ARE NOW FLORIDIANS! It has been a big desire of ours to move to Florida. We were here in the summer of 2009 and God shut the doors of that business opportunity. We have prayed for years that God would give us the desire of our hearts and move us there and we had to fully trust in His timing. When we returned from Ukraine, a series of events occurred that allowed Craig to sell his business to our dear friends. It was an amazing opportunity for the two of them and we are grateful that God provided that relationship. After selling his firm, he made a call to a friend in South Florida to notify him of the sale of his business. The friend says, "Funny that you should call today. I came in on Saturday to get your resume. I need to move back up north to take care of my daughter and her son. You are the only one for my job." And, less than a month later, on January 10th, we loaded a Penske and moved to Key Largo, Florida!
Key Largo is wonderful! We have met some amazing homeschool families and attend the same church we did in 2009. We weren't sure where we would go to church and visited several before sensing that God was leading us back to Redlands Community. We love it! Its a Presbyterian church and is so focused on community and missions as well as disciplining the flock. Its a GREAT balance and we feel so at home there. We have already met some amazing friends at RCC and look forward to how God will use us to serve Him there in that congregation and in our community.
I've attached some photos of our life in the Keys. We are so blessed to be here and there are days when we wake up pinching ourselves that God gave us the desire of our hearts! He is simply amazing!
We look forward to our journey here and welcome all of you to come visit us! We have our first set of visitors next week as Craig's parents will be coming for his birthday! My mom is coming the first part of April for Madeline's birthday and to watch me run in the 7 Mile Bridge Run in Marathon, Florida.
Things to pray for:
My mom desperately wants to be close to us. Please pray that her house sells and that she can find a job in South Florida. Pray that God would comfort her during her time away from us. Its been hard on her emotionally and physically to be away from her grandbabies!
Craig's work at Community Bank. This is a praise! Craig is so busy meeting with clients. Craig is so gifted when it comes to Financial Planning and he is finally getting to really use this talents!
Homeschool for us. We are still working on getting into a set curriculum for the girls. Pray that we will find what works for all of us. Pray for patience and endurance for me! Praise that we have met a huge community of homeschool families in the Keys - who knew!
Blessings to all of you!!!!!
The Hills from Florida :-)
We arrived home on November 3 as a family of 6! Its still hard to believe all that took place from the day we first hosted Stephanie and Lizzie in December 2009. With no desire to adopt and no money, we never thought we'd walk down that road! Plus, all the comments about disturbing the birth order really had me freaked out. Even though I had two precious friends (Stephanee and Camille) that had gone before me, I just knew that older child adoption was NOT for me! But, here we come down the escalator in the Austin airport with four girls in tow and in that mix - a teenager!
I will be completely honest and will not sugar-coat anything. The first couple of months were VERY tough. Lots of tears, lots of confusion, lots of stress, lots of fighting, lots of doubts, but LOTS OF PRAYING! That is the only thing that got us through those months. My poor friends probably thought I had fallen off the deep end. There were days when I questioned what we had done bringing these girls to America. What had I done to my existing family? Had I ruined the lives of Molly and Madeline forever? What had we done to our marriage? But, I kept being encouraged by my sweet friends, Stephanee, Camille, Hollie, Colleen, Lynne, Cindy and many more that have gone before me with teenagers. I received great advice from Cindy one evening over dinner. She said "Don't assume the worse in her. Don't assume she is doing anything bad. Let her live a little. Trust God with her life." I chewed on those words for days. And, that is exactly what I have done - put my trust in OUR Heavenly Father - not trusting in my ability to parent a teenager.
We have continued to homeschool and that has been another challenge. Its like teaching three 1st graders to read. Right when I was at the end of my rope, my precious Molly (diagnosed with Auditory Processing Disorder and not able to read) picks up "Cat and the Hat" and starts reading - ON HER OWN! God knew I was at a breaking point and for whatever reason, He chose to extent His grace and mercy to me that day and perform a miracle! Molly loves to read and I catch her reading to her two older sisters quite often! School is going well and with the help of the owner of My Father's World and his wonderful advice, we are on the road to a great school year! The best is hearing my girls tell Bible Stories to one another and being able to answer questions from the Shorter Catechism! I stand in awe at the work the Lord is doing in their lives!
Well, the big news of the year so far is - WE ARE NOW FLORIDIANS! It has been a big desire of ours to move to Florida. We were here in the summer of 2009 and God shut the doors of that business opportunity. We have prayed for years that God would give us the desire of our hearts and move us there and we had to fully trust in His timing. When we returned from Ukraine, a series of events occurred that allowed Craig to sell his business to our dear friends. It was an amazing opportunity for the two of them and we are grateful that God provided that relationship. After selling his firm, he made a call to a friend in South Florida to notify him of the sale of his business. The friend says, "Funny that you should call today. I came in on Saturday to get your resume. I need to move back up north to take care of my daughter and her son. You are the only one for my job." And, less than a month later, on January 10th, we loaded a Penske and moved to Key Largo, Florida!
Key Largo is wonderful! We have met some amazing homeschool families and attend the same church we did in 2009. We weren't sure where we would go to church and visited several before sensing that God was leading us back to Redlands Community. We love it! Its a Presbyterian church and is so focused on community and missions as well as disciplining the flock. Its a GREAT balance and we feel so at home there. We have already met some amazing friends at RCC and look forward to how God will use us to serve Him there in that congregation and in our community.
I've attached some photos of our life in the Keys. We are so blessed to be here and there are days when we wake up pinching ourselves that God gave us the desire of our hearts! He is simply amazing!
We look forward to our journey here and welcome all of you to come visit us! We have our first set of visitors next week as Craig's parents will be coming for his birthday! My mom is coming the first part of April for Madeline's birthday and to watch me run in the 7 Mile Bridge Run in Marathon, Florida.
Things to pray for:
My mom desperately wants to be close to us. Please pray that her house sells and that she can find a job in South Florida. Pray that God would comfort her during her time away from us. Its been hard on her emotionally and physically to be away from her grandbabies!
Craig's work at Community Bank. This is a praise! Craig is so busy meeting with clients. Craig is so gifted when it comes to Financial Planning and he is finally getting to really use this talents!
Homeschool for us. We are still working on getting into a set curriculum for the girls. Pray that we will find what works for all of us. Pray for patience and endurance for me! Praise that we have met a huge community of homeschool families in the Keys - who knew!
Blessings to all of you!!!!!
November 2, 2010
It is complete.....
We are out of here! Today, at 3:30 PM, we completed the final step in the Ukraine Adoption process! We received our visas from the US Embassy for our girls and we are headed home tomorrow!!!
We are currently at the Aeroport Hotel (about 10 minutes from the airport) and we will be leaving at 5:35 AM tomorrow. The middle girls are already dressed and plan on sleeping in their airplane attire, Madeline refuses to wear clothes and we actually caught her in the hotel hallway with absolutely nothing on her body! And, of course, my oldest is watching the last bit of Ukraine television before going to sleep and leaving the country she has known for 15 years.
We had the blessing of seeing Alla the last night of our journey in Ukraine. She has been a part of my girls' lives for the last 4 years and is like family to them. She met us for dinner at our favorite restaurant in Kiev (Arizona's BBQ). Check out the photos below :-). They import their food from the United States and its authentic! Check out the Mississippi flag in the background - how appropriate for this MS Girl! We also greeted another family (our friends) that traveled to Kiev today from New Braunfels to adopt out of our same orphanage. Their appointment is on Thursday and they are adopting three kids that have come on hosting trips to the US. They are excited and we wanted to give them the details on what to expect while in the region. It was good to see them before we left the country. We also got to have dinner with our incredible facilitator and her husband. They have done an AMAZING job on our adoption and we are forever grateful to them for their services. Denis and Vika were also there to say good-bye to us. Molly cried for 30 minutes because she didn't want to leave Vika. They have been such a huge help to us during this trip. They are Aunt Vika and Uncle Denis to my girls!
Stephanie also had a hard time leaving and this was the first time she has actually shown any emotion since we've been in Ukraine. I thought it was odd that she did not cry when we left the orphanage but I wonder if its all beginning to hit her now. Plus, we were leaving Alla tonight and she is like family to my girls. So, the car ride to the hotel was very quiet with the sounds of sniffles coming from three of my four girls. It is bittersweet to leave this place. Three of my girls are from this country and this is a part of their lives that will never be replaced. This is their homeland. This is where their journeys began and it will always hold a special place in their hearts and mine.
We are ready to return home. We got here on October 2nd and we are leaving November 3rd. It was a little longer than expected but it went so incredibly smooth! We are forever grateful to all of you that have prayed us through this journey. We could never do anything without the love, encouragement and support of our family and friends. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts!
Is our journey over? ....who knows. I don't know what the future holds but I know Who holds the future.
Blessings,
The Hills (all 6 of us)!!!
We are currently at the Aeroport Hotel (about 10 minutes from the airport) and we will be leaving at 5:35 AM tomorrow. The middle girls are already dressed and plan on sleeping in their airplane attire, Madeline refuses to wear clothes and we actually caught her in the hotel hallway with absolutely nothing on her body! And, of course, my oldest is watching the last bit of Ukraine television before going to sleep and leaving the country she has known for 15 years.
We had the blessing of seeing Alla the last night of our journey in Ukraine. She has been a part of my girls' lives for the last 4 years and is like family to them. She met us for dinner at our favorite restaurant in Kiev (Arizona's BBQ). Check out the photos below :-). They import their food from the United States and its authentic! Check out the Mississippi flag in the background - how appropriate for this MS Girl! We also greeted another family (our friends) that traveled to Kiev today from New Braunfels to adopt out of our same orphanage. Their appointment is on Thursday and they are adopting three kids that have come on hosting trips to the US. They are excited and we wanted to give them the details on what to expect while in the region. It was good to see them before we left the country. We also got to have dinner with our incredible facilitator and her husband. They have done an AMAZING job on our adoption and we are forever grateful to them for their services. Denis and Vika were also there to say good-bye to us. Molly cried for 30 minutes because she didn't want to leave Vika. They have been such a huge help to us during this trip. They are Aunt Vika and Uncle Denis to my girls!
Stephanie also had a hard time leaving and this was the first time she has actually shown any emotion since we've been in Ukraine. I thought it was odd that she did not cry when we left the orphanage but I wonder if its all beginning to hit her now. Plus, we were leaving Alla tonight and she is like family to my girls. So, the car ride to the hotel was very quiet with the sounds of sniffles coming from three of my four girls. It is bittersweet to leave this place. Three of my girls are from this country and this is a part of their lives that will never be replaced. This is their homeland. This is where their journeys began and it will always hold a special place in their hearts and mine.
We are ready to return home. We got here on October 2nd and we are leaving November 3rd. It was a little longer than expected but it went so incredibly smooth! We are forever grateful to all of you that have prayed us through this journey. We could never do anything without the love, encouragement and support of our family and friends. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts!
Is our journey over? ....who knows. I don't know what the future holds but I know Who holds the future.
Blessings,
The Hills (all 6 of us)!!!
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| My two Cowgirls |
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| My Chocolate Addict |
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| The Whole Gang! |
October 26, 2010
I will not leave you as orphans.....
Today, at 2:30 PM on October 26, 2010 - two girls walked out of an orphanage in Ukraine and left their years of living as orphans. They left a life of being unloved, a life of dispair, and feelings of sadness to a life of hope, unconditional love, and a home which brings the joy of having a family.
My girls were packed and ready to go when we got to the orphanage. Their friends anxiously but with sadness watched them as they hugged one another, snapped last minute photos, and said their good-byes. Even though we will return tomorrow with sweets and juices for a "Going Away" party, today was their last day as orphans. It was a memorable day and bittersweet, I'm sure. I can't imagine leaving a life where I depended on the relationships and shared such a strong commonality with those around me. I have left friends before and it was hard, but I can't imagine leaving what I considered for the last 5 years, my family. I know my girls were excited to leave but you could also sense their sadness. I pray for those that we left behind. A few of those I will continue to pray for are:
Alina - she is Stephanie Tatiana's best friend. She was not there today but she left a gift for me. I can completely understand why she chose to stay away today. Her best friend is leaving and she is having to continue her life without the person she considers as her sister. Alina is a precious soul and one I could spend my lifetime advocating for and I will do so! She does have three siblings and I met one of them, Kolya. He is a sweet boy and LOVES candy! Stephanie wants someone to host Alina at Christmas (she has a person in mind - Tasha (hint, hint) but we would love anyone to host her if she can't do that this year).
Aloyna (aka Helen) - this sweet, precious child does have a family interested in adopting her and they are from New Braunfels. Please pray for the family as they begin the dossier preparations and a journey that will take them to the other side of the world. We love this child!
Pasha - what a precious boy! He is the most well-behaved 15 year old I have ever met! He absolutely adored us for some reason and Madeline spent a lot of time flirting with him. We are praying with a family now that is interested in hosting him. We pray for God's will to be done in his life.
Olya - another friend of Stephanie's. Absolutely precious young girl (14 years old) and has an older sister that is not adoptable. Olya really desires to come for Christmas and to find a forever family. I wish I could have spent more time with her - she is adorable.
Slavik and Vova - two sweet brothers. Slavik meets us at the car everyday! He must have Becca radar or something because he is the first one out the door if he's not already outside waiting for us. We are praying with a couple of families that might be interested in hosting them. Their mother visits them on a regular basis so we need to do an official check on the availability for adoption.
Yura and Vitaly - another precious sibling group! Yura is 10 and Vitaly is 13. They are on our website for potential hosting and they are cutie pies! So, so, sweet! Yura has the cutest dimples EVER!
Vika, Maya and Kolya - I could spend a whole post on this group of kiddos. They have been to Texas several times and its just not in God's plan for them to be adopted by their host family. The family loves them dearly but just does not feel the call to adopt right now. Vika - 15, Maya - 12, and Kolya - 7 are a precious sibling group. Kolya is hard and would require a very strong father figure to guide and direct him. The girls are amazing. Vika speaks fluent English and has been a huge help to us these three weeks.
Andriy - he is 12 and I finally got the opportunity to meet him last night. He desires so much for a family and really wants to come to America for Christmas. I have a photo of him that I will post at a later date.
I could go on and on about children! I plan on featuring a child per week on my blog with photos. If anyone is interested in hosting children, please visit our website (http://www.charis4orphans.org/) and under "Hosting" the password is ukraine.
I pray that one day, I will be reading the blogs of families that have rescued the children above and they will be orphans no more.
Thanks for all your prayers! We love each and every one of you! You have no idea what your love, support and prayers have done for us in the journey!
The Hills
My girls were packed and ready to go when we got to the orphanage. Their friends anxiously but with sadness watched them as they hugged one another, snapped last minute photos, and said their good-byes. Even though we will return tomorrow with sweets and juices for a "Going Away" party, today was their last day as orphans. It was a memorable day and bittersweet, I'm sure. I can't imagine leaving a life where I depended on the relationships and shared such a strong commonality with those around me. I have left friends before and it was hard, but I can't imagine leaving what I considered for the last 5 years, my family. I know my girls were excited to leave but you could also sense their sadness. I pray for those that we left behind. A few of those I will continue to pray for are:
Alina - she is Stephanie Tatiana's best friend. She was not there today but she left a gift for me. I can completely understand why she chose to stay away today. Her best friend is leaving and she is having to continue her life without the person she considers as her sister. Alina is a precious soul and one I could spend my lifetime advocating for and I will do so! She does have three siblings and I met one of them, Kolya. He is a sweet boy and LOVES candy! Stephanie wants someone to host Alina at Christmas (she has a person in mind - Tasha (hint, hint) but we would love anyone to host her if she can't do that this year).
Aloyna (aka Helen) - this sweet, precious child does have a family interested in adopting her and they are from New Braunfels. Please pray for the family as they begin the dossier preparations and a journey that will take them to the other side of the world. We love this child!
Pasha - what a precious boy! He is the most well-behaved 15 year old I have ever met! He absolutely adored us for some reason and Madeline spent a lot of time flirting with him. We are praying with a family now that is interested in hosting him. We pray for God's will to be done in his life.
Olya - another friend of Stephanie's. Absolutely precious young girl (14 years old) and has an older sister that is not adoptable. Olya really desires to come for Christmas and to find a forever family. I wish I could have spent more time with her - she is adorable.
Slavik and Vova - two sweet brothers. Slavik meets us at the car everyday! He must have Becca radar or something because he is the first one out the door if he's not already outside waiting for us. We are praying with a couple of families that might be interested in hosting them. Their mother visits them on a regular basis so we need to do an official check on the availability for adoption.
Yura and Vitaly - another precious sibling group! Yura is 10 and Vitaly is 13. They are on our website for potential hosting and they are cutie pies! So, so, sweet! Yura has the cutest dimples EVER!
Vika, Maya and Kolya - I could spend a whole post on this group of kiddos. They have been to Texas several times and its just not in God's plan for them to be adopted by their host family. The family loves them dearly but just does not feel the call to adopt right now. Vika - 15, Maya - 12, and Kolya - 7 are a precious sibling group. Kolya is hard and would require a very strong father figure to guide and direct him. The girls are amazing. Vika speaks fluent English and has been a huge help to us these three weeks.
Andriy - he is 12 and I finally got the opportunity to meet him last night. He desires so much for a family and really wants to come to America for Christmas. I have a photo of him that I will post at a later date.
I could go on and on about children! I plan on featuring a child per week on my blog with photos. If anyone is interested in hosting children, please visit our website (http://www.charis4orphans.org/) and under "Hosting" the password is ukraine.
I pray that one day, I will be reading the blogs of families that have rescued the children above and they will be orphans no more.
Thanks for all your prayers! We love each and every one of you! You have no idea what your love, support and prayers have done for us in the journey!
The Hills
October 24, 2010
The tale of two mothers.....
On October 22, 2010, I had the honor of meeting the woman that chose to give my daughter life. Molly's biological mother, Viktoria, agreed to meet us for dinner. I thought about it all day and what to expect but nothing could prepare me for this meeting. I trusted God that He had it totally under control and of course, He did - every bit!
Unfortunately, I had been sick most of the day. Mom had a stomach bug that she graciously passed on to me. However, she knew how much it hurt, so she was very willing to forego her trip to the mall to take care of me. I was very grateful for her nursing care! I was very worried that I would be too sick to meet Viktoria but I was praying that God would make me well enough to go that evening.
When we got to our meeting place (McDonald's by the train station), we were the first to arrive. Denis went outside to see if he could find them and Craig and I were alone. We both were nervous and excited at the same time. We had no idea what to expect and we never thought we would be at this place. We remember about 7 years ago when we made the decision to adopt internationally so that we would never have to come in contact with a birthmother. Boy, have our thoughts and feelings changed about that whole concept. Here we were, waiting for the birthmother that we never thought we'd ever get to meet.
She walked inside and since I have seen photos of her, I recognized her immediately. She definitely looked younger in person than in pictures. She carried her precious 1 year old daughter, Irina, in her arms. Her new husband, Viktor and oldest daughter, Tanya, were behind her. Viktoria was beautiful in her own way - I don't know if its her outside beauty or the fact that I recognize her as Molly's "first" mommy. We left McDonald's and walked across the street to a Ukrainian restaurant. On the way over, Viktoria said that the rest of the children (Dima, Nastiya, and Yana) were home and wanted so badly to come meet me. They were upset that they didn't get to come but it was late and too much to bring so many children into town. They live in a very small, poor village about 30 minutes by bus. Tanya said on our way over to the restaurant that she felt like she was in a dream. She said that she never thought this day would ever come in her life - to meet the woman that adopted her sister. A little background on Tanya...
When Denis found Viktoria in 2004, Tanya was the one that answered the door. When Denis said why he was there and it was in the interest of a child of Viktoria's that was adopted, Tanya started crying. We later found out that Tanya had been told that Molly died at birth. We aren't sure why they chose to lie to her but it has hurt her tremendously and you can see it in her eyes. She is still very hurt and saddened but I was so happy that she came that night.
I brought a photo album of Molly's pictures throughout the past 6 years to Viktoria. She thumbed through them and then gave us her phone so that we could scroll photos of her children. There was one photo of Yana, Molly's sister, that jumped out at us - she look IDENTICAL to Molly. We had to glance a second time to make sure Molly had not made a secret visit to Ukraine. It was amazing to see the resemblance in Molly and all of her siblings. If Viktoria were blonde and smaller, Molly would look much like her. They have the same cheek bones and lips. It was pretty cool to look into the face of the woman who gave birth to my child.
Zhenya (Tanya's boyfriend) and Viktor (Viktoria's husband) got up to get something to eat. At that time, we thought it was best to talk to Viktoria. We told her how thankful we were to her and that she chose the most selfless act of any mother - to place her child up for adoption. We told her that we knew it had to have been the most difficult decision she would ever make but that we were happy with the gift that she chose to give us. We told her that Molly is very aware of her family in Ukraine and that she will always be told of her life here and that I hoped one day she would come meet her. She began to cry as did Tanya, and then of course, me. We cried over a child that two mothers love and hold deeply in their hearts. Viktoria and I share a bond that can never been broken. We both love Molly Luba with all of heart and we both desire the best for her life. Viktoria knew 7 1/2 years ago that she could not provide for the child she was carrying in her womb and she knew she would have to make a very hard decision but in that decision, she knew her child would receive life. She thanked us for providing for Molly and was so happy to hear how she had grown up the last 6 years. I can't imagine the thoughts or emotions running through her body and mind. I am not even going to begin to try to understand the heartache she must face on a daily basis of not having a child, she bore, beneath her wings. But, I do understand the ache for a child and the feeling when an empty lap is filled with the child you desperately long and pray for. And, I am grateful for Viktoria and the life that she has given me!
We left the meeting with lots of hugs and promises to keep in touch. We are so blessed to have Denis in Dnepropetrovsk and his willingness to go see her on a regular basis. We will most definitely continue to keep in touch and one day, when Molly is ready and she so chooses, we will bring her back to meet her "life mommy!"
We are now back in Zhytomyr. We spent a lovely evening with Alla's mother and of course, she fed us a wonderful meal! We saw the girls and tomorrow we will go again and spend our last day at the orphanage. On Tuesday, we will pick up the court decree and the girls will leave with us - FOREVER! Its hard to believe that they only have 2 more nights in the orphanage. Craig will also travel to the border of Hungary and Ukraine to get Tanya's new birth certificate. He is not so happy as its a very long train ride but it has to be done. Hopefully, we will get all the documents needed by Thursday and head to Kiev that evening. If all goes well, maybe we will be home by next Tuesday. Praying for a smooth week!
Blessings to all of you!
The Hills
Unfortunately, I had been sick most of the day. Mom had a stomach bug that she graciously passed on to me. However, she knew how much it hurt, so she was very willing to forego her trip to the mall to take care of me. I was very grateful for her nursing care! I was very worried that I would be too sick to meet Viktoria but I was praying that God would make me well enough to go that evening.
When we got to our meeting place (McDonald's by the train station), we were the first to arrive. Denis went outside to see if he could find them and Craig and I were alone. We both were nervous and excited at the same time. We had no idea what to expect and we never thought we would be at this place. We remember about 7 years ago when we made the decision to adopt internationally so that we would never have to come in contact with a birthmother. Boy, have our thoughts and feelings changed about that whole concept. Here we were, waiting for the birthmother that we never thought we'd ever get to meet.
She walked inside and since I have seen photos of her, I recognized her immediately. She definitely looked younger in person than in pictures. She carried her precious 1 year old daughter, Irina, in her arms. Her new husband, Viktor and oldest daughter, Tanya, were behind her. Viktoria was beautiful in her own way - I don't know if its her outside beauty or the fact that I recognize her as Molly's "first" mommy. We left McDonald's and walked across the street to a Ukrainian restaurant. On the way over, Viktoria said that the rest of the children (Dima, Nastiya, and Yana) were home and wanted so badly to come meet me. They were upset that they didn't get to come but it was late and too much to bring so many children into town. They live in a very small, poor village about 30 minutes by bus. Tanya said on our way over to the restaurant that she felt like she was in a dream. She said that she never thought this day would ever come in her life - to meet the woman that adopted her sister. A little background on Tanya...
When Denis found Viktoria in 2004, Tanya was the one that answered the door. When Denis said why he was there and it was in the interest of a child of Viktoria's that was adopted, Tanya started crying. We later found out that Tanya had been told that Molly died at birth. We aren't sure why they chose to lie to her but it has hurt her tremendously and you can see it in her eyes. She is still very hurt and saddened but I was so happy that she came that night.
I brought a photo album of Molly's pictures throughout the past 6 years to Viktoria. She thumbed through them and then gave us her phone so that we could scroll photos of her children. There was one photo of Yana, Molly's sister, that jumped out at us - she look IDENTICAL to Molly. We had to glance a second time to make sure Molly had not made a secret visit to Ukraine. It was amazing to see the resemblance in Molly and all of her siblings. If Viktoria were blonde and smaller, Molly would look much like her. They have the same cheek bones and lips. It was pretty cool to look into the face of the woman who gave birth to my child.
Zhenya (Tanya's boyfriend) and Viktor (Viktoria's husband) got up to get something to eat. At that time, we thought it was best to talk to Viktoria. We told her how thankful we were to her and that she chose the most selfless act of any mother - to place her child up for adoption. We told her that we knew it had to have been the most difficult decision she would ever make but that we were happy with the gift that she chose to give us. We told her that Molly is very aware of her family in Ukraine and that she will always be told of her life here and that I hoped one day she would come meet her. She began to cry as did Tanya, and then of course, me. We cried over a child that two mothers love and hold deeply in their hearts. Viktoria and I share a bond that can never been broken. We both love Molly Luba with all of heart and we both desire the best for her life. Viktoria knew 7 1/2 years ago that she could not provide for the child she was carrying in her womb and she knew she would have to make a very hard decision but in that decision, she knew her child would receive life. She thanked us for providing for Molly and was so happy to hear how she had grown up the last 6 years. I can't imagine the thoughts or emotions running through her body and mind. I am not even going to begin to try to understand the heartache she must face on a daily basis of not having a child, she bore, beneath her wings. But, I do understand the ache for a child and the feeling when an empty lap is filled with the child you desperately long and pray for. And, I am grateful for Viktoria and the life that she has given me!
We left the meeting with lots of hugs and promises to keep in touch. We are so blessed to have Denis in Dnepropetrovsk and his willingness to go see her on a regular basis. We will most definitely continue to keep in touch and one day, when Molly is ready and she so chooses, we will bring her back to meet her "life mommy!"
We are now back in Zhytomyr. We spent a lovely evening with Alla's mother and of course, she fed us a wonderful meal! We saw the girls and tomorrow we will go again and spend our last day at the orphanage. On Tuesday, we will pick up the court decree and the girls will leave with us - FOREVER! Its hard to believe that they only have 2 more nights in the orphanage. Craig will also travel to the border of Hungary and Ukraine to get Tanya's new birth certificate. He is not so happy as its a very long train ride but it has to be done. Hopefully, we will get all the documents needed by Thursday and head to Kiev that evening. If all goes well, maybe we will be home by next Tuesday. Praying for a smooth week!
Blessings to all of you!
The Hills
October 19, 2010
WOW - What a day!
Today was a very exciting day even though the skies were quite gray and the weather was dreary. We were up early and dressed and headed to Molly's orphanage. We took the bus (like old times) and went the exact track. I took video of our journey, even our walk through the woods that we did every day for over 5 weeks. It was very cold and very different than 6 years ago in the heat of the summer. We were bundled up with heavy coats, scarves, hats and gloves. When we approached the building, I had a wave of emotion. I can't believe that this is the place that my child called "home" for 17 months of her life! The outside of the building and the smell as we stepped foot into it, was the same. However, the walls had been painted and new couches had been placed in the LONG hallway. It looked very different inside and much better than 6 years ago. We went upstairs to meet with Svetlana, the orphanage director. It was great to hug her neck and show her pictures of Molly from the last 6 years. None of Molly's caregivers were there because of changes at the orphanage. There are only 60 children there and most of them are not adoptable. There were 180 children when Molly was there in 2004. Apparently, Svetlana had a dream of opening up a rehabilitation center for children with special needs. And, her dream has come true! Its the only rehab center in the whole country of Ukraine! The equipment was purchased by a family in Germany that adopted from that orphanage many, many years ago. Their son is now 18. Its state of the art rehab equipment and its all kids' size! Its ADORABLE - pictures below. Svetlana then showed us an "aromatherapy" room for the children and a place for them to lay down and relax! It was soooo cool and I was tempted to stay and let my family go on the rest of the tour alone. It smelled heavenly! She also has a wing where mothers with children with special needs can come there and receive therapy at no charge. This helps with those mothers that abandon their children because they are born with abnormalities. The mothers can stay with their children as they receive the necessary treatment/rehab. These mothers learn to cope with their special needs and provide for them rather than leaving them on doorsteps of baby houses. Its a GREAT program!
We then went into the special needs part of the orphanage and we met Sasha! He melted our heart immediately and he loved Craig! He has Down's but is very high functioning. He is extremely smart and he's only 2 1/2. Madeline loved him too. I was so happy to hear that two American families had adopted out of that room this past summer.
We got to see Luba, the orphanage attorney. She was so special to us and was at our court hearing in 2004. She is a lovely person and it was great to see her face and hug her neck. It was actually great to be back and they loved that we brought Molly to visit them! So many families promise to bring the children back and never come. We left photos and chocolate!
The orphanage is in need of roof repairs. It will take about $2000 to repair so we are praying that maybe our marathon (www.marathonforadoption.com) will help accomplish that goal in the future.
We pick up our girls one week from today! We are excited to see them this weekend and pray that they are doing okay without us. We have enjoyed our time in Dnepropetrovsk and look forward to meeting Molly's biological mother this week. Molly will not be going with us but Craig and I plan on meeting with her. We will get the opportunity to ask about her family, medical history, and get to know her personally.
Thanks for all your prayers! We are so thankful for ALL of you!
Blessings,
The Hills (all 6 of us)!!!
We then went into the special needs part of the orphanage and we met Sasha! He melted our heart immediately and he loved Craig! He has Down's but is very high functioning. He is extremely smart and he's only 2 1/2. Madeline loved him too. I was so happy to hear that two American families had adopted out of that room this past summer.
We got to see Luba, the orphanage attorney. She was so special to us and was at our court hearing in 2004. She is a lovely person and it was great to see her face and hug her neck. It was actually great to be back and they loved that we brought Molly to visit them! So many families promise to bring the children back and never come. We left photos and chocolate!
The orphanage is in need of roof repairs. It will take about $2000 to repair so we are praying that maybe our marathon (www.marathonforadoption.com) will help accomplish that goal in the future.
We pick up our girls one week from today! We are excited to see them this weekend and pray that they are doing okay without us. We have enjoyed our time in Dnepropetrovsk and look forward to meeting Molly's biological mother this week. Molly will not be going with us but Craig and I plan on meeting with her. We will get the opportunity to ask about her family, medical history, and get to know her personally.
Thanks for all your prayers! We are so thankful for ALL of you!
Blessings,
The Hills (all 6 of us)!!!
October 17, 2010
Mr. Toad's Wild Ride....
You know...I have done some really ridiculous things in my life and I'm sure the same goes for my husband and my mom. But, our decision to drive from Zhytomyr to Dnepropetrovsk on Friday night takes the icing on the cake!
We met a taxi cab driver, Vitaly, during the beginning of our adoption journey. He drove a white VW car/van/SUV thingy and we noticed he had a German flag hanging in the window. Since we had just come from Germany, we thought it would be cool to strike up a conversation with this guy. He didn't speak much English but he LOVED to talk. He would just continue to talk as much as possible, even though we didn't have a clue as to what he was saying. I could understand some words and piece it together, but for the most part - he just loved to hear himself talk. He did tell us that his family was from Germany and how he wanted to either live there or America. He asked if we would take him. A few days later, he came to pick us up and his girlfriend, Leana, was with him. She speaks perfect English and was such a big help in translating for us. I asked her about his family in Germany and she rolled her eyes and said, "His family is Ukrainian and live in Ukraine, his ancient ancestors are from Germany - HE IS NOT FROM THERE!" It was funny because clearly she had had this conversation once or twice before with other people. Anyway, we grew to really like Vitaly and we would call Leana to have her call Vitaly to pick us up and take us places. They were such a great help!
Well, after court, we were trying to decide when to go to Dnepropetrovsk. One guy offered to take us but was going to charge us an unbelievable amount of money. We thought about the train but there was no way to find out about train tickets without traveling to Kiev first and we didn't want to take that chance. So, we called our buddy, Vitaly. He offered to take us for less than what we could take a train. We took him up on it and loaded the car at 6:10 PM. He told us it would only take us about 6 hours. When we got in the car - the first thing we noticed - there were no seatbelts. I am sure its okay, we were most likely going to be traveling on an interstate type highway and I would hold my baby as tight as possible. We headed out on the highway to Kiev and once we got there, he kept stopping and asking for directions. We began to get a little worried that he didn't know exactly where to go from there. We contemplated catching the train from Kiev and letting Vitaly go on his way back to Zhytomyr. But, we kept on going, stopping every hour to ask for directions or to read the map. We were trucking along and the interstate then turned into two lanes and stayed that way the rest of the trip. These weren't normal two lane roads - they reminded me much of Mexico or Belize roads. Lots of pot holes!
Now, Vitaly told us that he had been a tank driver in the Army. We were impressed but I think he wanted to show us those tank driving skills on our road trip. It was a mixture of NASCAR, Bumper Cars at the Fair, Frogger from Atari, and tank driving all wrapped up into one. Madeline would occassionally say "I riding a horse!" We passed people on the road and I'm sure we were going close to 90 miles an hour. We were dodging cars like bullets. It was like we were part of a high speed chase! I was scared to look. I could read the serial numbers on the license plates of cars and 18-wheelers! As we got closer to Cherkassy, we noticed the sign to Dnepropetrovsk and we were FAR, FAR AWAY! What to do now? We were literally in the middle of nowhere and there was no sense in turning back. We asked Vitaly over and over (about every 30 minutes) if he was "oostala?" (which is tired). He assured us he was not though none of us (except the girls) were about to fall asleep in fear that Vitaly might follow suit. So, here we are, bouncing along the incredibly difficult roads in NOWHERE UKRAINE! Vitaly LOVES techno music and so we were subjected to a night full of it. He continued to talk to Craig (who was riding shotgun) and he would laugh out loud knowing that Craig had no idea what he was saying. He said "Vitaly skazhi blah, blah, blah and Craig skazhi 'ne penemayo' - ha, ha, ha!" And, then he would laugh (translated "Vitaly says blah, blah, blah and Craig says I don't understand you." It was hilarious! So, our 6 hour ride turned into 9 hours!!!! We were so extremely tired. Vitaly was supposed to be back in Zhytomyr by noon and it was 3:30 AM! We made him come upstairs and sleep on a mattress on the floor. There was no way we were going to let him drive back to Zhytomyr with no sleep. He slept for 4 hours and made it back safely (late, but safe). We called Leana throughout the day apologizing that we had kept him in Dnepro to sleep.
The ride was one of a lifetime - much like adoption! It was such a reminder that God is in control. There we were - no seatbelts, no directions, a language barrier, not knowing where we were going, and extremely exhausted - and God's mercy poured down on us and got us safely to our destination! Adoption is not for the faint-hearted. It should have a disclaimer, much like the rollercoasters and thrill rides at the amusement parks. But, trust God and He will carry you every step of the way! He doesn't called the equipped - He equips the called.
We have made a friend in Vitaly and Leana - we hope that our lives are a reflection to them of who Christ is through us! We hope and pray that God would pour His mercies on them as well.
No more Mr. Toad's Wild Ride for us - we are taking the Express Train back to Kiev on Saturday! However, we are hoping and praying that Vitaly will be so gracious to pick us up and take us to Zhytomyr.
Blessings,
The Hills
We met a taxi cab driver, Vitaly, during the beginning of our adoption journey. He drove a white VW car/van/SUV thingy and we noticed he had a German flag hanging in the window. Since we had just come from Germany, we thought it would be cool to strike up a conversation with this guy. He didn't speak much English but he LOVED to talk. He would just continue to talk as much as possible, even though we didn't have a clue as to what he was saying. I could understand some words and piece it together, but for the most part - he just loved to hear himself talk. He did tell us that his family was from Germany and how he wanted to either live there or America. He asked if we would take him. A few days later, he came to pick us up and his girlfriend, Leana, was with him. She speaks perfect English and was such a big help in translating for us. I asked her about his family in Germany and she rolled her eyes and said, "His family is Ukrainian and live in Ukraine, his ancient ancestors are from Germany - HE IS NOT FROM THERE!" It was funny because clearly she had had this conversation once or twice before with other people. Anyway, we grew to really like Vitaly and we would call Leana to have her call Vitaly to pick us up and take us places. They were such a great help!
Well, after court, we were trying to decide when to go to Dnepropetrovsk. One guy offered to take us but was going to charge us an unbelievable amount of money. We thought about the train but there was no way to find out about train tickets without traveling to Kiev first and we didn't want to take that chance. So, we called our buddy, Vitaly. He offered to take us for less than what we could take a train. We took him up on it and loaded the car at 6:10 PM. He told us it would only take us about 6 hours. When we got in the car - the first thing we noticed - there were no seatbelts. I am sure its okay, we were most likely going to be traveling on an interstate type highway and I would hold my baby as tight as possible. We headed out on the highway to Kiev and once we got there, he kept stopping and asking for directions. We began to get a little worried that he didn't know exactly where to go from there. We contemplated catching the train from Kiev and letting Vitaly go on his way back to Zhytomyr. But, we kept on going, stopping every hour to ask for directions or to read the map. We were trucking along and the interstate then turned into two lanes and stayed that way the rest of the trip. These weren't normal two lane roads - they reminded me much of Mexico or Belize roads. Lots of pot holes!
Now, Vitaly told us that he had been a tank driver in the Army. We were impressed but I think he wanted to show us those tank driving skills on our road trip. It was a mixture of NASCAR, Bumper Cars at the Fair, Frogger from Atari, and tank driving all wrapped up into one. Madeline would occassionally say "I riding a horse!" We passed people on the road and I'm sure we were going close to 90 miles an hour. We were dodging cars like bullets. It was like we were part of a high speed chase! I was scared to look. I could read the serial numbers on the license plates of cars and 18-wheelers! As we got closer to Cherkassy, we noticed the sign to Dnepropetrovsk and we were FAR, FAR AWAY! What to do now? We were literally in the middle of nowhere and there was no sense in turning back. We asked Vitaly over and over (about every 30 minutes) if he was "oostala?" (which is tired). He assured us he was not though none of us (except the girls) were about to fall asleep in fear that Vitaly might follow suit. So, here we are, bouncing along the incredibly difficult roads in NOWHERE UKRAINE! Vitaly LOVES techno music and so we were subjected to a night full of it. He continued to talk to Craig (who was riding shotgun) and he would laugh out loud knowing that Craig had no idea what he was saying. He said "Vitaly skazhi blah, blah, blah and Craig skazhi 'ne penemayo' - ha, ha, ha!" And, then he would laugh (translated "Vitaly says blah, blah, blah and Craig says I don't understand you." It was hilarious! So, our 6 hour ride turned into 9 hours!!!! We were so extremely tired. Vitaly was supposed to be back in Zhytomyr by noon and it was 3:30 AM! We made him come upstairs and sleep on a mattress on the floor. There was no way we were going to let him drive back to Zhytomyr with no sleep. He slept for 4 hours and made it back safely (late, but safe). We called Leana throughout the day apologizing that we had kept him in Dnepro to sleep.
The ride was one of a lifetime - much like adoption! It was such a reminder that God is in control. There we were - no seatbelts, no directions, a language barrier, not knowing where we were going, and extremely exhausted - and God's mercy poured down on us and got us safely to our destination! Adoption is not for the faint-hearted. It should have a disclaimer, much like the rollercoasters and thrill rides at the amusement parks. But, trust God and He will carry you every step of the way! He doesn't called the equipped - He equips the called.
We have made a friend in Vitaly and Leana - we hope that our lives are a reflection to them of who Christ is through us! We hope and pray that God would pour His mercies on them as well.
No more Mr. Toad's Wild Ride for us - we are taking the Express Train back to Kiev on Saturday! However, we are hoping and praying that Vitaly will be so gracious to pick us up and take us to Zhytomyr.
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| Vitaly and his car |
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| Our new friend! |
The Hills
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